Yang menyebabkan seseorang tidak mampu mengikhlaskan mantan adalah kegagalan pikiran menyadari akan hukum keutuhan. Maksudnya, hanya mau mendapatkan, dan tidak mau melepaskan. Hanya mau bertemu dan terus bersama, dan menolak perpisahan, serta kesendirian. Padahal untuk hidup dibutuhkan keduanya.
Napas mengingatkan saya akan hukum keutuhan ini. Manusia hidup karena menarik napas, mendapatkan, lalu menghembuskan napas, melepaskan. Bisa bayangkan kalau manusia terus-terusan hanya menarik napas, mendapatkan? Manusia tidak akan bisa hidup kalau maunya hanya menarik napas, mendapatkan.
Jadi kalau memang berniat hidup dan ikhlas melepaskan mantan, saya butuh melatih pikiran menyadari bahwa diri ini tidak bisa melarikan diri dari hukum keutuhan.
Ada waktunya mendapatkan seseorang tercinta, ada waktunya ikhlas melepaskannya. Ketika pasangan hidup memiliki kelebihan, ia akan selalu disertai dengan kekurangan. Gembira selalu diikuti dengan sedih. Di mana ada puncak gunung, di situ ada jurang. Bahkan semakin tinggi gunung, maka jurangnya pun pasti semakin curam dan dalam.
Saya sepakat dengan kata Pramoedya Ananta Toer, “Seorang terpelajar harus sudah berbuat adil sejak dalam pikiran …”. Begitu pun, “Ikhlas melepaskan mantan harus sudah dilakukan sejak dalam pikiran …”


Dear Future Husband


Dear Future Husband,

I’ve had a long road that has left me with a lot of baggage and a couple of walls. If you’re willing to be patient with me and try to get past my walls, I promise I’ll be worth it.

I love you,
Your Future Wife

Captured by Jeni Karay

Kalau aku..
Aku jatuh cinta.
Aku jatuh cinta pada seseorang yang hanya sanggup aku gapai sebatas punggungnya saja.
Seseorang yang hanya sanggup aku nikmati bayangannya tapi takkan pernah bisa aku miliki.
Seseorang yang hadir bagaikan bintang jatuh.
Sekelebat, kemudian menghilang begitu saja.
Tanpa sanggup tangan ini mengejarnya.
Seseorang yang hanya bisa aku kirimi isyarat sehalus udara, langit, awan, atau hujan.

~Dee, Rectoverso

Ada Hari

Ocean is my Perfect Remedy

Ada hari dimana kau begitu mudah untuk dicintai

Begitu sederhana untuk dipahami

Ada hari dimana semua berjalan begitu alami,

tidak dibutuhkan begitu usaha yang besar untuk memahamimu

dalam diammu pun aku tidak keberatan

Kemudian datanglah hari-hari dimana kau menjadi begitu kompleks untuk dipahami

Seperti kau membangun tembok tak kasat mata untuk menjauhkanku darimu

Entah kau sadari atau tidak

Sikap, perilaku bahkan hal-hal sederhana yang kau sadari namun mereka adalah detail yang selalu aku perhatikan

Seringkali tembok itu tak ada. Hanya saja banyak orang diluar sana yang mengharapkan aku menjauh darimu dengan berbagai alasan

Apakah kau pria yang jahat?

Menurut mereka, iya. Namun bagiku, tidak.

Apakah mereka lebih mengenalmu dari aku? Mungkin

Tapi mereka tidak mengenal bagian dirimu yang aku kenal

Aku di titik ini tidak menyerah

Tidak berusaha untuk mengendorkan apapun yang ada diantara kita

Bila ini badai, aku suka badai ini

Karna tidak ada satu hal pun dalam hidup ini yang tidak diuji oleh badai.




11 Resolutions Everyone Should Consider Making Next Year

We’ve all done it: Made resolutions to work out regularly, to stick to a budget, to eat better. Those are all great goals. And they can pay off if we stick to them. But the thing about strict resolutions is that when we break them, it can feel like we’ve failed, and it becomes easy to ditch them altogether.

That’s why we’ve created this list of 11 New Year’s resolutions that everyone should consider making in 2015, that aren’t just based on do’s and don’ts, but small habits that can make a difference in our lives—even if we don’t do the best job of always sticking with them (see No. 7).

To Spend More Time in Conversations that Matter

Too often, days at a time can go by with the conversations we have with our friends, family members and co-workers going no deeper than surface-level chit-chat. Though there’s nothing wrong with joking around, theorizing about the latest episode of Serial or strategizing about fantasy football, if we’re not intentional about regularly engaging in deeper conversations—that challenge us intellectually, spiritually and socially—too often, those types of talks can become increasingly rare.

Complaining about something can offer momentary relief from frustrations, but working on solutions to the problems in our world can actually fix the things that are broken.

To Complain Less and Do More

We’re all guilty of it from time to time: We see something broken—in culture, the Church, the government, in our own personal relationships—and our first instinct is to vent about it instead of thinking of ways we can help change it. Complaining about something can offer momentary relief from frustrations, but working on solutions to the problems in our world can actually fix the things that are broken.

To Spend Less Time Worrying

Any time spent worrying is time wasted. It’s also counterproductive. As author and activist Corrie ten Boom said in The Hiding Place, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

To Pray More

It’s easy to pray less when we have lots of things to do, but really, life should work in the opposite way. As Martin Luther once said, “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.” No matter how busy we become, committing to spend more time praying—even if it’s during our commute, when we’re working out or throughout our day—is a key to growing spiritually.

To Listen to More New Music Every Week

With the rise of platforms like SoundCloud, NoiseTrade, Spotify and Pandora, keeping up with new music releases has never been more involved. But it’s also never been easier to find new artists and get introduced to songs you’ve never heard. Next year, consider making even more margin to check out innovative music and the artists who are shaping culture.

To Cut Others Some Slack

In the social media era, where everyone’s opinion gets a platform, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of getting angry at our friends over things they say that we don’t agree with. Unfortunately, many times, that same mindset of taking offense at dumb stuff people say or do creeps into real-world relationships, the Church and workplaces. The thing is, most of the time, outrage is overrated. In 2015, commit to be offended less and reserving your anger for issues that really matter.

To Cut Yourself Some Slack

We’ve all been driven to try to accomplish things but ended up falling short. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all failed. The good news is, God doesn’t expect perfection from us, and we shouldn’t expect it from ourselves. Next year, when you mess up, drop the ball or let people you care about down, do what you can to make it right, but be quick to move on and show yourself the same grace you extend to others.

Though being able to take a stand for what you believe is an admirable trait, so is listening to the other side and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.

To Read More Good Books

In a letter to a friend, C.S. Lewis once wrote, “Clearly, one must read every good book at least once every 10 years.” Considering that there are thousands of “good” books to choose from, Lewis’ advice doesn’t seem all that practical, but that doesn’t make it any less powerful. No matter how much time you currently spend reading, there is even more potentially life-changing wisdom in the pages penned by some of humanity’s great minds. All you have to do is take the time to read it.

To Challenge Our Own Presuppositions More Often

Just take a look at recent news headlines, ongoing current events and debates in the Church, and it’s clear to see that we live in polarizing times. Though being able to take a stand for what you believe is an admirable trait, so is listening to the other side and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Even if we don’t end up changing our position on an issue, questioning our own long-held presuppositions doesn’t just serve to challenge our beliefs—it can actually strengthen them.

To Spend Less Time on Your Phone

When you reflect back on 2015 this time next year, you probably won’t remember your new Candy Crush high score or that listicle of things you didn’t know about the cast of Boy Meets World. Even if you’re not a full-fledged app addict, in the era of the iPhone, we can all use a little less time looking at screens, and more time enjoying the people and places around us.

To Share More Meals with People You Care About

We’re all busy. And, the reality is, a lot of times it’s just more convenient to go to the drive-thru, eat lunch at your desk or use dinnertime to catch up on some Netflix. There’s nothing wrong with doing this every once in a while, but when eating on the run becomes a lifestyle, you end up depriving yourself—and others in your life—of moments that could be used to build deeper relationships.
Source: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/11-resolutions-everyone-should-consider-making-next-year