​Sudah kubilang berkali-kali: jangan pernah mendukakan hati perempuan. Apalagi kalau dia suka berdoa. Di belakangnya bukan manusia, tapi Tuhannya yang membelanya.

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How do I learn how to be confident?

qwcdevos:
“How do I learn how to be confident?
Day 6/31
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone...

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. – Mt. 5:14-15

“There’s something different about her.” It’s a phrase that we have seen or heard at some point in our lives in a chick flick or a shampoo commercial or in a romance novel. Maybe when you hear the phrase, you automatically think about a beautiful woman walking down the street and capturing the glances of everyone she passes. Maybe you think about a woman in your life or a woman you follow on social media who seems to have discovered the fountain of youth and lives a carefree, joy-filled life. Whether you aspire to be like that woman or not, we’ve all had that moment where someone captured our attention or inspired us and all in all, it just seemed like there was something different about them.

But while we may find inspiration to have this kind of presence and confidence about ourselves, as followers of Christ, we must remember that it is only the light that comes from Jesus that truly matters. Let’s be the kind of women who radiate His light more than we radiate with what the world says is confidence. Even on the days that we’re having a great hair day, a great work day, or we’re just in a generally good mood, we’ve got to continue to let what stands out about us be the light that shines from within us because of Christ!

Also, this has nothing to do with personality. Being a light isn’t reserved for the extroverts and outgoing. God wants to use each of us in unique ways to be a light. All around you there are coworkers, classmates, friends, and family members in your life who are desperately needing to be reminded of Jesus’ love for them. Go out of your way to put others first this week. Make it a point to be that friend that encourages. This world needs more people like this. This world needs more Jesus! Let people see that you don’t stand out from the crowd because you’re super confident but because Jesus is at the center of everything you do.

Biblical context + further reading: Mt. 5:13-16

Jadilah Bijak

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Saya bertemu dengan seorang teman yang berkeluh kesah disela-sela kegiatan kampus kami yang padat. Tidak biasanya teman saya ini berwajah murung, karna dia selalu dikenal sebagai sosok figur yang selalu ceria setiap harinya. Diapun bercerita tentang relasi dengan pacarnya. Saya pun secara pribadi sudah mengetahui bahwa teman saya ini sudah berpacaran bersama seorang pria sejak tahun 2012. Hubungan mereka sempat putus nyambung beberapa kali karna dari pihak pria kedapatan menjalin hubungan dengan wanita lain tanpa sepengetahuan teman saya ini.

Kejadian itu ternyata berulang lagi dengan permasalahan yang sama. Teman saya ngotot bahwa dia harus lebih sabar dan mengampuni pasangannya. Baginya “saya tidak mau menyerah untuk mempertahankan pasangan saya”. Diapun mengakui kepada saya bahwa hubungan mereka bukan saja sampai ke tahap serius belaka, tapi sudah melampaui hubungan fisik (sex) berkali-kali. Bahkan hubungan badan pertama kalinya adalah bersama pacarnya ini. Hal inilah yang membuat teman saya berusaha keras mempertahankan hubungan dengan pacarnya walau jelas-jelas banyak sekali “tanda-tanda” bahwa pria yang bersamanya bukanlah pria yang tepat.

Mengampuni vs Berhikmat

Banyak sekali khotbah yang saya dengar bahwa dalam sebuah hubungan diperlukan adanya pintu maaf yang dibuka sebesar-besarnya antara kedua pasangan. Tentunya mengampuni ini penting sekali. Tapi apakah dengan berjalannya waktu ada perbahan yang dialami oleh pasangan kita? Bila pola yang sama selalu berulang berkali-kali, mungkin sudah saatnya anda menimbang apakah hubungan ini layak untuk dilanjutkan atau tidak. Di Matius 10:16 Tuhan pun memberikan nasihat kepada kita bahwa kita harus cerdik seperti ular dan tulus seperti merpati. It means,  kita butuh hikmat ketika ada kasih di dalamnya. Kata salah satu dosen saya di kelas “jangan cinta bodok-bodok”.

Abuse = Cinta?

Oooooh… Come on people! Kini media mulai mempengaruhi generasi kita untuk percaya bahwa pria yang melakukan kekerasan (kekerasan verbal atau tindakan, tidak harus ditampar atau dipukul. Kalau itu mah definisi klasik) adalah tanda bahwa pria itu menyayangi dan ingin menjadi satu-satunya yang memiliki wanita. Well, sapa coba yang mau disiksa seumur hidupnya? Ingat lho, salah memilih pasangan berarti anda sedang memilih membawa neraka ke bumi, bukan surga ke bumi.

Kebanyakan pria yang melakukan abuse bila ditelusuri kisah hidupnya, mereka berasal dari keluarga yang kacau (broken home). Ada kepahitan, ada kepahitan atau luka yang dibawa entah karena sosok ayah ataupun ibu. Bila hal-hal ini tidak dibereskan, tidak diobati, maka akan menjadi kepahitan yang akan diberikan kepada anda sebagai pasangannya ataupun anak kalian kelak.

Sex = Cinta

Sepertinya nonton film, kalau tidak ada adegan kiss atau ranjang pasti tidak seru. Media mempertontonkan bahwa sex menjadi hal yang lumrah, wajar dalam pergaulan anak muda masa kini. Oh really?

Saya bertemu banyak sekali teman-teman yang memutuskan untuk melakukan hubungan sex ketika mereka berpacaran. Dan tahukah teman-teman? Ketika anda melakukan hubungan sex dengan pacar anda, belum tentu pacar anda itulah yang akan setia hingga kalian berdiri di altar gereja dan disahkan menjadi suami istri. Pihak pria tidak begitu terlihat dampaknya namun wanita akan ‘berbekas’. Jangan takut deh jadi perawan tua, di Yeremia 29:11 Tuhan berjanji bahwa Tuhan telah merencanakan masa depan untuk masing-masing kita. So, tidak perlu khawatir. “bagaimana bila saya tidak akan mendapatkan pria yang lebih baik dari dia?” Percayalah bahwa ketiak anda melepaskan hal yang buruk, Tuhan akan menggantikannya dengan hal yang lebih baik. Just be patience.

Hati vs Logika

Wanita memang cenderung lebih dominan menggunakan hati.  Bukan berarti semua keputusan harus didasarkan dengan perasaan. Jangan lupa membawa logika dalam setiap pertimbangan yang anda buat. Kadang, ada keputusan-keputusan sulit yang harus anda buat dalam relasi anda. Tapi keputusan tepat itu akan mengarahkan anda untuk menjadi lebih baik. Ingat, cinta seharusnya bukan makin membuat kepala anda pusing tujuh keliling namun bisa membawa damai. Bukan kesenangan sementara, tapi sama-sama berpikir keselamatan yang abadi. Bahkan pepatah juga menasehati kita: follow your heart but take your brain with you. 

Sebuah hubungan dilanjutkan dan tidaknya tergantung dari bagaimana anda mengambil keputusan. Ingatlah selalu bahwa jangan pernah takut melepaskan hal yang memberikan dampak negatif ke dalam hidup anda. Karna Tuhan selalu siap memberikan berbagai hal yang baik ketika anda mau melepaskannya.

 

It Starts With Me Taking Responsibility

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If you want to do all that God has called you to do so that He gets the glory and you get the joy, then it starts with you taking responsibility for your life.
There comes a point in time when you have to man (or woman) up and take responsibility for your own life. That time is now. No more can you blame your parents, your teachers, or lack of opportunities, for who you are or who you are becoming. The Bible tells us that “we are more than conquerors” through Christ, which doesn’t leave much room for excuses  (Romans 8:37). Jesus said it, so we better believe it!
Too often people allow the past circumstances to determine the future outcome. The only power that your past has over your future is the power that you give it. God has a great plan for your future so quit making excuses as to why or how you can’t get there. Take responsibility for the person you are today and trust that God will provide you with all you need to become the person He is calling you to be. Jesus doesn’t agree with our excuses nor does He affirm us when we play the blame game. As He said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Your weaknesses are simply opportunities for Jesus to reveal His grace in your life.
 Do you recognize any situation, limitation, or person in your life who you’re blaming for how things have turned out for you? Instead, choose to take responsibility for your life and trust that Jesus will turn any weakness into a strength for His glory and for your joy.
“…I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:13-14).
Source: http://bible.com/r/GX

Disappointment: God’s Provision and Protection

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From the moment Pam picked up the phone, I knew something was wrong.

For months, Pam had been waiting to hear some good news on a new opportunity and as she said, the perfect opportunity. Pursuing a new career wholeheartedly, she was so disappointed when she received the news that she had been passed over for another candidate.

Devout in her faith, Pam had prayed diligently and believed that God had opened doors and ordained this new venture just for her. She was not only significantly disappointed, she was also greatly disillusioned that God had not opened the door she expected. In fact, as far as Pam could see, God had not opened any door. She was confused that she could have been so mistaken about the plan God had revealed to her.

After she vented her frustration for a few minutes, I suggested she thank God for this very moment. My comment perplexed Pam.

“Be thankful for something I wanted to happen did not happen?” She asked. “Yes, Pam, thankful because God is either planning to provide something better for you or protecting you from something that will bring harm to you” I replied.

As a parent, this is a conversation I have often with my sons.

Now, when they look back, they see how this principle has played out in their own lives: the sports team they didn’t make, the girl that broke their heart or the job they did not get.

All of those situations are orchestrated by God so that we will arrive at the exact place and plan that He has chosen for those who seek Him and walk in His will.  

When we discover God’s perfect plan, we can see how His provision and protection provided the opportunity.

Consider 3 ways to strengthen your trust in God in times of disappointment:

1. Believe that God loves you and wants His very best for you.

God created us, gifted us uniquely and has a perfect plan for each of us. He is the author of our story He knows what happens in the next chapter. He orchestrates events to help us arrive at the perfect plan He has for us when the page is flipped.

In Isaiah 40:26, we read,

“Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.”

We are not forgotten by God in our disappointment.  He knows exactly where we are and He is simply ensuring that His best becomes ours.

2. Surrender your own desires to His will for you.

It is impossible for God’s perfect plan to be revealed to you while seeking your own path. As a young girl, my mother tucked me in each night and as she did, she symbolically reached out her hand and asked me to place my worries in her hand. She explained that she would carry them for me and that I need not continue to carry them.

She asked me to surrender to her the concerns of my heart. As I grew older, she taught me to surrender the concerns of my heart into the hand of God and rest in HIs peace. With an open hand, surrendered to the Lord, He is able to fill it with what he believes will be the abundant life in Him.

3. Trust the promises of His Word.

God has promised again and again in His Word, that He will never leave, nor forsake us. Times of disappointment are opportunities to be refined by fire to be more like Him in every way. In Proverbs 3:5-6, we are encouraged to “trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding and He will make your paths straight.”

With all of its twists and turns, one way streets and seemingly dead ends, God is leading us to the opportunity where we will be best used by Him and the place where He will prepare us to live and worship Him for eternity.  We miss His best for us when we do not trust Him, but instead, believe in our own way.

Many months after that phone call with Pam, we met for lunch for her to tell me about the unbelievable opportunity she had been offered. She was so thankful that she decided to trust that God was providing her something better.

As it turned out, the position she had been hoping for a few months earlier had already been eliminated in a merger transaction. She would have been unemployed, and living alone in a new city where she would have relocated. Pam’s mother had become critically ill during these days and Pam would have been far away and unable to care for her needs as she would have liked.

Of course, only God new Pam’s needs and He protected her from an opportunity that would have ultimately been more disappointing than not receiving the offer at all.

In times of deep disappointment, it is wise to remember that God is either protecting us from something not in our best interest or preparing to provide something better.

Believe in his plan, surrender your own plan and trust in the path he sets before you.

Source: http://www.propelwomen.org/content/disappointment-gods-provision-and-protection/gjeb63

Selamat Datang 2017!

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Tahun terakhir dalam strata 2. Tahun kesekian jadi jombloers (I don’t mind about that). Tahun terakhir menetap di kota Salatiga. Such a great journey dan betapa dahsyatnya penyertaan Tuhan yang tak pernah kenal lelah menuntun, membimbing dan melindungi.

Banyak perjalanan ke tempat-tempat asing yang sebelumnya belum pernah disentuh (I’ll tell you later di tulisan-tulisan berikutnya). Banyak juga orang-orang terdekat yang disaring dapat melanjutkan perjalanan bersama di tahun 2017 atau mereka harus berhenti di tahun 2016 dan tidak dapat mengikuti ke tahun 2017. Beberapa kepergian dan kedatangan mereka yang baru.

2017 penuh dengan berbagai proses, perjalanan, pendewasaan, pengikisan karakter, dan masih banyak lagi. Satu hal yang tetap di tahun ini: Tuhan yang sama, yang menyertai di tahun-tahun sebelumya tetap akan menyertaiku di tahun 2017.

Selamat datang tahun 2017!

Jadi Perempuan Itu…

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Jadi perempuan itu harus berani berkata tidak. Tidak kepaa ketidaknyamanan, ketidak sesuaian dan ketidak sinergisan.

Jadi perempuan itu berani bertindak tegas. Tidak membiarkan dirinya dipermainkan.

Jadi perempuan itu tidak harus selalu mengiyakan sesuatu agar diterima dan dianggap sopan dalam masyarakat ataupun lingkungan pergaulan.

Jadi perempuan itu berani berdiri untuk kebenaran. Tidak mempermainkan dirinya atau dipermainkan oleh orang lain.

Jadi perempuan itu bukan tentang jenis kelamin, tapi bagaimana kehadirannya membawa warna berbeda dan inspirasi kemanapun dirinya melangkahkan kaki.

Jadi perempuan itu indah. Ketika dia mengerti siapa dirinya sendiri. Apa bagian tergelap dari dirinya, menerima bagian itu dan menggunakan bagian itu menjadi senjata ampuh dan kekuatan untuk menghadapi berbagai tantangan yang ada didepannya.